Recognized across the globe as the world’s best orthodontist, Jason has done fancy tooth-work for an estimated six billion people, even for such icons as Elton John, Eddie Van Halen, and Burzum. Jason strives to make the world a better place by making sure everyone has teeth as perfect as his. While not on the job, Jason can be seen shredding it up on his deadly precise axe, writing some of the most amazing tunes that will never be released, and wallowing in self pity and loneliness.
Full Name: Jason Scott S*****
Role at the 38 Radius Blog: I drop knowledge in the form of my opinion on matters dealing with a healthy mix of things, mainly music. Aside from that, I have managed to glean tid-bits of expertise in the area of controlled rants with a dash of logic.
Birthday: July the Third
Age: Older than you.
Job Status: A washed up has-been.
Pets: I have two cats, a dog, and a rabbit. My little brother is temporarily taking care of his class pet- a hermit crab by the name of ‘Prince’.
Favorite Bands: There are many. Among them are Incubus, Rancid, Mastodon, Shadows Fall, and Enya.
Favorite Live Show: I really enjoy going to strip clubs with my friends and pounding a few beers whilst I enjoy the spectacle. Anything of that nature would qualify as my favorite, I suppose.
Favorite Book: You may think I am queer, or not, but I really enjoy Hamlet. I also like ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, the basis for a film adaptation that followed.
Favorite Movie: Shaving Ryan’s Privates.
Best song on Earth: Cannibalism by Vicious G, featuring a guest appearance Eddie Van Jaylen on the axe.
Favorite TV Show: Family Guy. Typical, I suppose, but I’m not one to care. I also enjoy Metalocalypse.
Favorite Animal: When I go to the zoo, I like to see the Giraffes. Unfortunately, the local zoo has around 3 exhibits. I guess the lemurs are my favorite there.
Ideal Meal: A suitcase full of guts.
Most Embarrassing Moment: I attempted to perform an enema on an elephant and it pooped on my head.
Hobbies: Guitar, womanizing, macking my game, hitting on chicks, trying to get a date, scopin’ out the ladies, wallowing in desperation.
Things You Hate: Elitists, Smart-a**es, acne, McDonald’s, unemployment, white lies, Writer’s block
Hottest Animated Character?: I am WAY over that, friends. However, around the age of five, I had a massive crush on Angelica from Rugrats. She exercised such authority….so sexy……
Little Known Super Power: I can fit two glazed donuts in my mouth, presumably due to the abnormal arrangement of my teeth.
Thing You MUST Know About Me: Saying the word ‘snuggle’ or ‘cuddle’ makes me feel gay
2 comments:
isn't it a little strange how he's introduced as an orthodontist.. then later talks about the abnormal arrangement of his teeth...
That's the joke.
I-D-I-D-O-T-H
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