Top Reasons Why I Will Not Miss High School

Normally during Physics, I like to catch up on my sleep, or perhaps do work for another class. Today, however, I entered a train of thought that ran for an easy fourty minutes. I was thinking about the school I attend and about how in less than two months, it would no longer be a part of my life. I am not hurt or worried by this at all, because I hate it. And I'm not saying I hate it like all those white trash kids that listen to Godsmack and say 'Y3AH MANZ LEIK I H8 THIS SKOOL IM GUNZAH BLOWED IT UP SOMEDAY!!!'. No, I have a few things against the school, and I envy those who have enjoyed it. They get something that I just don't. Some of these things are nit-picky and trivial, others quite large. Some very personal, some that I am willing to share with many. The ones that I am willing to share with you are as follows:

Hallways- Yeah, the halls. The narrow paths that link class to many another class serve to allow the students at THS to navigate from one area of the school to another by foot. Unfortunately, this seems a daunting task for many people, while others seem to think that no one else in the school needs to be somewhere. Between every class, I run into that clutter of stupid freshman-sophomore-sometimes junior/senior girls that hang out in a large group SMACK-DAB in the middle of the halls, conversing about I don't know what, maybe how drunk they are getting this weekend or how 'LIKE, OMG, MY STRAIGHTENER DIDN'T WORK THIS MORNING, SO I HAD TO CURL IT INSTEAD :( :( :(!!!'. As a result, myself and many other students have to squeeeeeeze through in order to pass on. The girls ALWAYS refuse to budge, and when you accidentally shove one of them [accidentally, mind you], YOU are always the bad guy.
On top of that, I always find myself stuck behind a group of kids who seemingly purposely walk slower than molasses as they converse or jokingly beat on each other. The slow pace is possibly a method of contributing to their pseudo-bada** image. Often times, they will stop dead in their tracks once or twice, reasons unknown, and other kids are known for doing this as well. This perplexes me.

Lunch Bell- This always results in a massive horde of kids pushing and shoving each other as they run through the halls to get to the cafeteria before anyone else. I can only imagine the thoughts going through their heads as their mouths water at the thought of undercooked [though they often manage to burn it], preservative-laden pizza with a side of Baked Lays. This chaos is usually ensued by a massive wave of fat kids running to the cafeteria in excitement that surpasses that of their able-bodied brethren. They would have gotten there before anyone else, but they had to run, and...well... they aren't exactly competent on that score. While the fat kids cover all four classes, the other kids are usually freshmen or sophomores, the occasional upperclassman thrown into the mix.

Politics - For the entire four years that I have attended THS, the students that attend this school have tried to make themselves out to be political scientists in the making. Everyone makes it a point and/or goes COMPLETELY out of their way to express their political stance on everything. They strive to spark a debate. Unfortunately, these students are retarded. The only things these students care to talk about are worn out topics like gay marriage, abortion, and war in Iraq. This is where they fail. The ideas and theories they present in a dim-lit manner are only ideas that have fallen right into their laps through biased parents, biased media, and biased friends. I want to make a large stamp that says 'FAIL' so that I can put it on their foreheads every time they try to start an uprising through the presentation of trite ideology. If one more student claims themselves to be a 'Republican' or a 'Democrat', I am going to off myself in the bathroom. I hope that they someday realize that no matter what party you assume, you have made a grave mistake in assuming a party.

Drinking- Hey, guess what, class of 2007? Drinking is not cool! That's right, stumbling about like an idiot unable to speak English properly while being easily coaxed into making poor decisions due to intoxication is definitely not a good thing. I don't think waking up covered in your own piss and vomit is a good thing either. I find it odd that all the kids in my class that help with all the anti-drug programs are the ones that go out on the weekends and are found three-sheets-to-the-wind within three hours with all their friends. They then come to school and talk about their drunken antics and how many drinks they pounded. Cool...I guess. Almost as cool as killing someone in a car accident, or destroying your life or the lives of family members through an alcohol problem. Believe it or not, one of the biggest reasons I decided to commute to Akron for college rather than go out of town is to easier resist the temptation of involving myself in this. I only wish I could escape this pet-peeve of mine after High School, but I know that in college I'll hear some kids talking about last night, or crazy nights to come.

Miss O*****- Holy crap, will you just retire!? Man, this is easily one of the most bitter staff members I have ever had to deal with in my entire life. Even asking to go to the bathroom will result in a good firm scolding from this teacher. I was stupid enough to sign up for one of her classes TWICE, the second one only last semester. She HAS long since been divorced, so I guess she must be sexually frustrated. What better a reason to be filled with bitterness and take it out on other students?

Miss D***** [sp] - Also known as the Decapitator, this is the new Principal, delivered just in time for my Senior year. She was assisstant principal at North, and went on to Garfield to be the head principal. Her arrival brought along several rules and regulations that are total b.s., among them the rule that we are not allowed to wear a hat indoors, simply because they 'are meant to be worn outside', and the no iPod rule, due to the fact that they serve as a distraction. My school day has become slightly more miserable due to the fact that I cannot enjoy some Children of Bodom, or perhaps a little Rise Against in the middle of my school day, to ease a little tension, most of which builds up because of the things I have already listed.

Hot chicks that never talk to me - Oh, wait. I'll be going through life like that.

The School Newspaper - I have never seen such a lack of skill and originality in writing. The Devil's Tale is a HORRID publication that rivals Plugged In on the the score of stupidity. They writers write about things that are PURELY trivial, and that no one cares about. Much like the politics mentioned above, this just seems like an opportunity for the kids to talk about what they believe in. They talk about things such as 'fitting in', dealing with peer pressure, and religion. The kids at THS love to go WAY off topic for the sake of stating their religious beliefs, especially if they are atheists. I am not saying this because I am not an atheist, I honestly see it this way. Also, they love to talk about fashion, such as what skirts are popular, and the appropriately named 'UGG boots'. I can see why the sports section would be published, but other than that, not much of anything else. I have tons of copies, so if any non-THS students want to take a glance, I will gladly forfeit them. I don't think I should be missing them any time soon.


Ladies and gentlemen, the list goes on from here. I'm sure many of these issues are things you deal with on a daily basis, no matter where you attend school. If there is anything else you want to address, go ahead, it should be interesting to see the comment area turn into a discussion of the woes we face in school.